The White-Knuckled Truth About Letting Go

Your heart is pounding. Chest is tight. Hands are shaking. Vision a little questionable.

You want to Hurl. This Person. Across. The Room.

Someone just pulled your trigger. Maybe they didn’t know it. Maybe they did it with a smile on their face.

The anger you feel in response can be monumental. Some wounds cut so dang deep the recovery seems impossible. Forget the mental exhaustion. You’re hurt, pissed off, and backed into a corner.

Whether it’s a family member, a friendship, or someone who plays a major role in your life… We all have one or two people who drive us I-N-S-A-N-E. There’s “I love you and you drive me nuts” insane and there’s “Your bad habits/toxicity/poor decision making/selfishness affects my life” insane. If you fall under the latter category you’ve got a decision to make.

Do you keep battling a ghost, or let it go and move on? 

If you’re ready to release this element of you’re life you have to honestly and openly accept the person where they’re at.

This can be tough. Sometimes we want so badly for them to see our side, to feel our wounds. But they’ll never get it. They may be in denial or are emotionally unavailable. Some people simply can’t say I’m sorry and live their entire lives trying to control everyone around them. They may have the complex of “There’s something wrong with everyone but me.” Either way, you’re never going to change them. You have to accept them and love them where they’re at. Nothing more and nothing less.

The next step is to detach and disengage. 

Think about your relationships like the rings on a tree around your heart. One or two people may be in your inner ring. We hold on tight to them and they see the insides of our soul. Others are on outer rings where there is space, which is a natural part of life. Perhaps it’s time to move someone to a far outer ring. You still love them and have a relationship with them, but from a different state of mind. You get to choose what boundaries to set for your sanity and home life.

It’s also the time to disengage from their behavior. Don’t feed the fire, so to speak. If they’re looking for a reaction, don’t give them one. If the conversation is moving to an unhealthy place, cut it off. Simple as that. It’s ok to love with limits.

Now it’s time to plug the hole. The space in your brain that was consumed with drama needs to be filled with something positive. Your beautiful, renewed energy can nurture other relationships and more importantly, the one you have with yourself. Our hearts and minds are sacred. We get to decided who or what gets to live there.

If you’ve got a tight grip but you know letting go is what’s best, remind yourself of this…

Not my circus, not my monkeys.


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