The conversation started on a run, around mile 7. The sky was a bright orange, the mountains stained pink. I was training for a 24 hour triathlon relay. I was a hot, sweaty mess, but I was determined. One more mile to go. I drew in a deep breath and looked up.
I asked for guidance. I was dying for the next chapter, but was unclear what it would look like. What direction would my career go in? Would I have a child? What would happen over the next year?
What is my purpose?
I finally said, out loud, boldly: “I’m ready. Show me the way. I’ll be responsible with whatever you bless me with.”
Days later, I found out I was pregnant.
Holy shit. OMG. No way. Really?! I was shocked. I was elated. I just remember tears, hysterical jumping up and down, followed by more happy tears. And then I took two more tests because I wanted to triple check that extra pink line really did exist.
Just a few short weeks later we found out we were having a boy. Fist pump, high five, boom! My husband and I were stoked.
The funny thing is, we both knew in our gut our baby was a boy. Call it a mix of intuition and superstition. There’s a great story behind this. It starts in the Choquechaca Valley near Machu Picchu in Peru.
In the fall of 2016, we took the trip of a lifetime. We hiked through the mountains with several alpacas, a wonderful guide and an incredible Sherpa, who was also the area’s fortune teller. Did we want a glimpse into our future? Intrigued, we said why not! Might be fun.
We sat on a hillside, surrounded by lush trees and a light breeze. Deep in the moment, I felt an incredible spiritual connection to Mother Nature. We chewed on coca leaves and watched our Sherpa unfold a brightly colored blanket. Among the reds, oranges and purples were more coca leaves, each with a different story to be told.
As the Sherpa read our leaves, he spoke in a beautiful language I couldn’t fully understand. It was a mix of Spanish and other words I hadn’t heard before. I did however understand the excitement in his face and warm confidence in his voice when he said “Hijo! Hijo!”
A son. A SON! I cried happy tears.
Then I said, “Wait, not on this trip, right?! I’m not quite ready.” My husband let out a deep belly laugh.
That was two years ago. Flash forward to today, it’s a fun story we love to tell. God has a great sense of humor.
Right now I have a million unanswered questions. We split our time between two cities, as we navigate the building and nurturing of our careers and relationships. How will that look in a few months? Where will we be, physically and figuratively?
I choose to be proactive, with the faithful mindset that I have a very small portion of control.
What I do know is, I love this little life inside me with a fire and animalistic protection I’ve never known.
I don’t have any answers. I don’t have any plans. But that’s ok right now.
I’m just so grateful for this journey we’re on.