Browsing Category Faith

Marriage by 25. Network TV by 30. That was always the plan.

It sounded pretty great when I was 15. Of course, God and the universe had a hell of a different idea in store.

Hard lessons. Heartbreak. And a nice little detour to rock bottom with a slow rise to redemption.

25 came and went. I kicked off 30 with marriage vows and a huge promotion at work. I had everything I wanted.

A few short years later I was happy at home but exhausted– and confused– about my career. I asked myself, am I truly where I’m supposed to be right now?

That moment of reflection forced me to take a hard look at what I wanted. I had to get honest with myself and honest with God.

There I was, sitting in my pajamas at a ridiculous afternoon hour, sorting through photos. I decided getting lost in the closet was a better use of my time than laundry.

I take a moment to study my face, my body language. Each snapshot brings back a warm memory, albeit some more hazy than others. My friends and I smile brightly as we celebrate the final days of our innocence. Flash forward through college, multiple out-of-state moves, a couple of bad breakups and an awful decision or two. Sweet Lord time flies.

I take a minute to examine a few particular photographs. I look happy. Silly. Sometimes ridiculous. (Why the hell did I wear that?!) I try to remember what we were doing and how I felt. Some days were amazing and filled with adventure, love, spontaneity and crazy shenanigans. Other days the lines blurred and the light in me would fade.

It’s a door slammed. Lights out. Book closed.

Damn!

There are few things more frustrating than when the wind suddenly blows out of your sails.

The big chance you wanted to take? Courage deflated.

That new project you were excited about? Creativity drained.

The gym workout you were dying to start? Energy wiped.

Hitting a wall sucks. It can be scary how quickly your mind can shift like that. Isn’t it crazy how one minute we can feel so passionate, so confident, and then suddenly like lightening we’re shot to the ground again. We feel defeated. We second guess ourselves. If you’re like me, you get ticked off.